Shame

Today Jillian apologized for going poop in the bath tub. She repeatedly said "sowy" and I had to tell her it was okay and give her a hug before she felt better. At this age her muscles are still weak and not fully in her control so these things happen and we don't scold her for it. That brings me to the question, why was she ashamed? Where do children pick up things like shame for having an accident at under 2 years old or thinking that going poop is bad (like one of Jillian's cousins)? Is it a matter of the child's personality, environmental factors or both? Normally I would jump straight to environmental but there is no way that could be it in our case. Jillian is not really potty training so she hasn't been taught what an accident is, we never scold her for peeing or pooping when her diaper is off as she obviously can't help it, and we are the only ones that give her a bath or have her run naked. It broke my heart seeing my baby girl apologize for something out of her control and that is completely natural.

EMT

This week Brandon started school again. He is going through EMT training in order to become a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. Everyone was surprised when he decided that this was the direction he wanted to go but I support him wholeheartedly. The fear has always been of how difficult it is to get into the firefighting but I would rather struggle for a few years and by happy for a lifetime than be comfortable but have him dislike where he ended up. After all, he did it for me last year :) The first step in the process is to become an EMT, then you go on to paramedic training and volunteering as a firefighter, then firefighter training and finally you find a job. Unfortunately, what I hear is that to join in any sort of timely manor you need to either know someone, be a woman, or a minority. Brandon is obviously not the last two but his cousin is the fire martial in Tuscon and has offered to make calls when the time comes so we hope that helps. Another thing is making sure he is able to get in early enough that he can have a pension when they force him to retire. We have a lot of questions, a lot of variables and there is no way to know where life will take us in next couple years. 

I am so proud of him.

2010

Sorry, I haven't been posting once a month like I said I would! I will do what Christi did and go month by month to catch you up.


October
I graduated Nursing school October 15th and started looking for a job. I got hired at Not To Worry/AallCare, two sister companies that provide in home pediatric and geriatric caregiving. At the end of October we took a trip to the east coast to visit some of my family. We started in PA visiting my Grandparents, Uncle and Cousin taking time to visit and a couple small trips, to the former West Virginia State Penitentiary and to the Indian Mound in Moudsville (a large hill that is a burial ground, the bodies were stacked when buried creating the mound). Next we traveled to West Virginia to visit my Aunt, Uncle and Cousins. Jillian went trick or treating for the first time and met her first kitty which she loved. From there we made a day trip to DC and visited a few of the many sites there. The trip was way too short but a ton of fun!

November
I started work at the beginning of November. I never got a chance to work with the geriatric company as I was so busy with the pediatric. It wasn't nearly as medical as I had hoped for but I still got a chance to use my nursing still by recognizing the signs of reflux and overfeeding in an infant and making sure he saw a doctor. Brandon Celebrated his 28th birthday and we found out that his brother's wife (Jason and Christi) is pregnant with their first child and due right around July 1st. Jillian will have a new cousin (we will know boy or girl in just a few weeks!) and we get to be Aunt and Uncle.

After years of back/knee pain and a good year and a half of hip pain, fatigue, sensitivity to touch and nausea I decided to be my own health advocate and make sure my doctor did everything possible to help me figure out what was going on. He ordered labs and x-rays suspecting arthritis and referred me to a rheumatologist. The labs came back normal and I have some arthritis in my back but that didn't explain everything else. After doing an evaluation the rheumatologist decided that I had bursitis in my hips and I possibly have fibromyalsia. Since then we have been going through a number of medical treatments as will as experimenting with changes in diet in hopes of relieving some of the pain. There have been minor changes but the only big change was after removing caffeine from my diet. It is common for people with fibromyalsia to have increased fatigue with caffeine so I quit drinking it and not only did I stop having trouble staying awake in the middle of the day but my nausea went away. No, I didn't drink a ton of it. Just on can of soda will have be curled up in a ball.


December
December 1st I started getting ready for Christmas! We have started adding to our decorations so it was a little more festive this year. A couple weeks before Christmas I was sent to work at a home with twin 9 month old girls with severe reflux, and eating/sleep delays. Before the year was over the family decided they would like to pay the few required to take me from my company to come work for them privately. I said yes as it will be part time through August. Christmas Eve we had a lovely dinner and early celebration with my mom and brother but as the night went on Brandon started having severe abdominal pain. By 730 he was vomiting in the bathroom and saying we needed to go to the ER. My dad came over to watch Jillian and my mom took over later in the night. After many hours in the ER we left with a diagnosis of Gallstones and orders for a low-fat diet and trip to the doctor to schedule a surgery to take them out. Brandon has been doing really well and we have both been keeping to a low-fat diet that is also helping us lose weight.

We went to the desert for the first time with Jillian. She was able to ride her new little quad around camp and daddy got to ride the rhino out in the Dunes. He made me go one time too but I wasn't sold on the experience. 

January
We are now halfway through January. I took my NCLEX and hope to get my results soon so I can have my license and look for some per diem jobs. We got a new dog named Dexter who is absolutely amazing. He even tolerates Jillian!

Jillian's Update
Jilian is now 19 months old and has added many words to her vocabulary. She loves farm animals and pretty much every other animal. She still hasn't developed healthy fears and is always doing things to make her mother's heart stop.  Her hair has grow significantly and I was able to put it in a ponytail for the first time a week ago. Her Grandpa Mike got her an outdoor play house for Christmas which is were she spends most of her time, she also enjoys coloring and her favorite foods are Sunbetter and Jelly sandwiches, Strawberries, grapes and granola bars.

 

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

We did it

So, we bought the tickets to go to PA. Its a little scary because we really don't have the money but with the help I have gotten as birthday gifts, and the fact that it will be a very long time before we have another opportunity to go on a family vacation, there was no way we could not go. We managed to book flights that had one stop but no plane changes so the trip will be a little less stressful. I am a little concerned about Jillian though. I just hope she will be able to sit still for short periods to color and nap in my lap. And please please let there be enough room for us to give her some moving space. It will be a short trip, from the 27th of October to the 1st of November, but well are going to make the most of our time there. The plan is to visit my family, go to the historical sites, show Jillian how trick or treating should be done and take a mini trip to DC.  I am so excited and can't wait to see everyone! Any ideas on a Halloween costume for Jillibean? I want to make it myself this year

Together we grow

Together we grow is a child care center for both healthy and medically fragile children. My clinical group has spent the last four weeks working there and today was our last day. Although there wasn't a lot of nurse duties for us to do, I felt it was a great experience, one that changed my view of pediatric nursing. I always felt that I wouldn't be a good fit in pediatrics, and still think most areas would be too sad for me, but after seeing these children on a daily basis I really think my place in the nursing world is with disabled children. These kids aren't dying from cancer or critically wounded, they have conditions such as Cerebral Palsy and Spina Bifida which are life long and dibilitating. Making them smile, knowing you helped make their day a little better just by rubbing their head while they got their medicine or making them laugh while a procedure was done is so much more rewarding than anything I have done so far. These children will live their whole lives being limited and some are able to understand so every smile is a victory. Lets all hope that I can find a job as a pediatric home health nurse or an individual school nurse right away!

Adventures with Jilli-bean

Jillian is a full on toddler these days. She is so curious and has so much energy that it seems she gets into trouble every day. As some of you already know, last Thursday was scary and hectic for us.

First, Jillian decided to drop a large wooden step stool on my foot while I was getting read. I yelled so loud from the surprise that it scared her and she had to be held for quite a while before she would calm down. After she was happy again we proceeded back to the bathroom where she found and ate some hand sanitizer I had not been aware of. I had to call poison control and luckily they said hand sanitizer irritates the stomach lining but an amount as small as what she consumed would not harm her. After that was over it was time to brush our teeth, Jillian likes to chew on the brush while I brush mine so I gave it to her and just as I turned to get my brush she throws hers in the toilet...nice.

She enjoys climbing on the ottoman, eating anything she finds on the ground, pulling things off shelves/tables, and the first time she was able to open the stove she threw a plastic spatula in which melted immediately. We have since found a lock for the stove. She is a handful but we love her to pieces.

SpLiSh SpLaSh

Jillian started swim classes this month. We are learning how to kick, hold on to the wall and not to be afraid of the water. She is doing really well and only minds a little when its time to be dunked under water. She learned within the first few dunks to close her eyes and hold her breath but as you can see to the right, she doesn't mind too much. Below is a picture of Jillian and her friend Alice learning to kick.

Beautiful blue eyes :)